My sinfulness and God's grace

Man this semester at New Tribes has been so so fruitful.  God has indeed been faithful to continue the good work that he started.  Through classes, homework, my relationships with others, and work, God has been challenging me over the course of a semester, renewing my mind and conforming me more and more to the image of his Son. 

The most important thing I learned, amongst many things, was about the sinful heart.  God has really been challenging me with the reality that I am sinful, I am not a good person who occasionally does bad things, but I am a bad person who does very bad things.  I am a sinner and that reality should absolutely humble me.  As Paul says in Romans 7:18, “For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is in my flesh.”  The Lord has been faithful to continue to teach me this very thing, that nothing good at all is in me, nothing.  I am a sinner and need God’s grace every day to walk in Him.  If I were left to my own devices, my flesh would make a mess of things.  Jeremiah says it perfectly it 17:9, “the heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked, who can understand it?”  God has been pounding this truth into my head the entire semester that my heart in the flesh is not good, it is deceitful and utterly wicked. 

Throughout the semester we have been walking through the Old Testament, from Genesis to Nehemiah, tracking the history of the nation of Israel.  God has been using Israel to really teach me about my own sinfulness and then just how amazing his grace is.  God has chosen Israel as his chosen people, his everlasting possession.  He had promised them the land of Israel as an everlasting land too.  Through the rest of the Pentateuch they walked in faith and then walked in sin, ultimately spending 40 years wandering around the wilderness before entering the Promised Land.  In the book of Joshua they go in and conquer the land, and are told to not mix/marry with the other nations and not worship their gods.  Israel is told to drive them out and is told to follow God’s commandments in order that they might stay in the land and receive material blessing from the Lord.  Next was Judges, one of the most depressing books, where Israel fell into cycles of sin where they would sin and worship other gods then they would be punished.  They would cry out to God and he would, in his grace, restore them.  This happened time after time and the nation of Israel was spiraling downward.  In 1^st Samuel, Israel demands a king, they rejected God as their king and demanded a human king.  The monarchy was established with Saul and most notably David, who was a man after God’s heart.  2^nd Samuel records David and his sin of adultery where the downward spiral of Israel continues.  Solomon succeeds David and he was obsessed with material possessions and women, leading to his downfall.  The kingdom is then divided into Israel, the northern ten tribes, and the tribe of Judah.  Every king of Israel was evil, doing evil in the sight of God, worshipping false gods.  They were an apostate nation and God allowed Assyria to take them into captivity in 2^nd Kings 17.  Judah had a few good kings who followed the Lord, but many evil kings, who kindled God’s anger.  They were taken into captivity by the Babylonians in 2^nd Kings 25.

God taught me three very key things through the history of Israel.  Firstly, I learned just has sinful I really am.  My flesh has nothing in me that is good.  The good that I do is only what God is doing in me and through me and has nothing to do with my flesh or my heart, just trust him to work in me.  But really seeing Israel and how they just whored after other gods and how they walked in disobedience and disregarded the Creator showed me that “wow I’m the same exact way.”  There are times where I choose sin over God, just like Israel.  God has been faithful, however, to teach me more and more about his grace.  I mean, Israel deserved to die for all their sins, all the times they rejected God, even after he had just saved them!  Yet, he was long-suffering; he was patient, loving, merciful, gracious.  He allowed them to be taken captive, yet even then he did not destroy them, he restored them back to the land after 70 years in Babylon.  I, like Israel, am such a wretched sinner, and I deserve to die for my sins!  Yet God, who is rich in mercy, because of his great love for me, made me alive in Christ, even when I was dead in my trespasses and sins.  He has grace.  And he is faithful to teach us, grow us, renew us, and conform us, if only we would open ourselves to him and allow him to. 

Prayer Requests:

1.       Continued focus on God and His Word

2.       That I would be faithful to steward everything the Lord has given me in a way that honors him

3.       I have a sermon on the 22^nd and 23^rd in my youth group, pray that the Lord would use me

4.       That break would be relaxing, refreshing, and a time where I would be bold in talking, challenging, and encouraging family

5.       That the Lord would be preparing my heart and mind for how he is going to grow me next semester at NTBI

Exodus: Renewing my mind

Man, so second month up here at New Tribes.  I'm loving it here, continually being in thankful for how the Lord has blessed me to be here at such a time as this.  To be able to spend 2 years studying the Word of God is not opportunity many people have and so I'm constantly being amazed at how the Lord has lavished blessings on me, and how he is using this time to prepare me for a life of ministry wherever he may lead me.  God is so good.

God is so faithful to challenge, to correct, and to transform as well.  Paul states in Philippians 2:6, "And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of  Jesus Christ."  And how true this is.  I am being challenged continually here, by friends, teachers, deans, and by the Word.  In my personal devotions I'm just finishing up Exodus and that book has challenged me, my thinking, and my attitude immensely.  I was reminded that before I criticize the Israelites in  their sin, I needed to realize how similar I was to them.  When they are out in the wilderness, they are in a constant state of grumbling.  They had just been enslaved in Egypt for 400 years and as soon as they are without food, they begin to grumble against Moses and cry that it was better back in Egypt.  As soon as their circumstances take a turn for the worse, they cry out against God, wishing they had stayed in slavery.  The Israelites attitude has challenged me incredibly, as well as Paul's exhortation in Philippians 2:14, to "do all things without grumbling or disputing..."  I was convicted with my attitude when my circumstances or situations aren't what I desire them to be.  I had a tendency to complain about being tired, or a lack of finances, etc.  Also, I recently got hired at the hospital next door, Praise the Lord, and I worked 32 hours worth of training last week which has been grueling.  I was indeed tired towards the end of my shift, which was 8 hours, 3:15-11:45pm.  But every time I thought to complain, I thought about the Israelites attitudes in the desert, when they were discontent with their circumstances.  Paul's exhortation also came to mind as I thought about the entire passage and the results of following Paul's exhortation, "Do all things without grumbling or disputing, so that you may be blameless and innocent children of God in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world."  Just remembering that I am a light in the crooked generation in which I live and need to conduct myself as the light that I am.  One practical application of that is to do all things without grumbling and shine amongst my co-workers.

One more thing I've learned from Exodus is again through the Israelite disobedience.  In chapter 19 God promises to be an enemy to the enemies of Israel and he promises the land, but they are told to obey his voice.  The people respond saying that "all that the Lord has spoken we will do." Moses then heads up Mount Sinai where God gives Moses the 10 commandments and laws regarding slaves, restitution, the tabernacle, etc, the terms of the Mosaic Covenant.  Moses descends the mountain and repeats everything to the people and with one voice they respond "All the words that the LORD has spoken we will do."  Later on in 24:7 they reply "all that the LORD has spoken  we will do, we will be obedient."  In the rest of the Old Testament Israel is characterized by disobedience beginning in Exodus 32 where they build a golden calf and declare that the calf brought them out of Egypt, not God.  God revealed my heart and the times when he communicates to me, I don't want to be obedient and I ignore him.  I know I've committed my life to the Lord and am willing to follow him wherever he takes me, trust him no matter what, and will do anything he asks, but I know that my stubborn, sinful hearts acts in opposition to God and needs to renewed and transformed by God daily. God has taught me to put off the attitude of pride and disobedience to the him and his Word and put on the attitude of submission to the him and his Word.

Prayer Requests
1.  Focus on God as my 1st priority
2.  Intentionality in relationships
3.  For me to be a godly example to all and to be the leader I'm called to be
4.  Humility in conduct and in regards to approaching God's Word
5.  Ministry opportunities at my job

Our God is faithful

Wow so it's been a little bit since I posted an update, sorry guys.  Anyways about 3 weeks ago I arrived at New Tribes Bible Institute in Jackson, MI.  I arrived super exciting, however there were many question marks and uncertainties.  I kinda turn into the shy person when I arrive in new situations and so the first  few days were discouraging, but the Lord is always faithful and I've been making new friends and it's been great.  My friend Mark here at school is actually my RA and so that was pretty sweet having him to ease me into life here.  I just finished classes in Bibliology, a study on how we got the Bible and why we can believe it's true, and Biblical Foundations, basically an overview on God's redemptive plan from Genesis to Revelation.  I am currently taking Hermeneutics, Evangelism in a Post-Modern World, and The Pentateuch.  I just got into Hermeneutics which is a class on how to study and interpret the Bible accurately, so I don't really have a whole lot of info regarding that class, but I do know we will be studying the book of Philippians to practice hermeneutical study skills and that's going to be awesome!  Also we began to dig into Genesis in the Pentateuch class on Friday and will be studying Genesis 1:1-2:3 on Monday and Tuesday. I'm super stoked about this class.  Evangelism class has been incredible.  We've bee learning about different worldviews that people have and how to see them, evaluate them, and cause people to question them in comparison to the Gospel.  It's been super interesting.  We had to do an interview of a person the other day as homework and learn about their worldview.  A worldview is basically compromised of these questions:  What is reality? Spiritual/Physical?  What its truth? How do you know?  Where did we and earth come to be?  Do you believe in God?  Why or why not?  What is he like?  What is man made up of?  What is his destiny?  What are morals/values?  What is the standard by which you determine those morals and values?  What is man's purpose in life?  Super interesting stuff, got some unique answers.  We have to do another interview in a couple weeks and this time we get to go deeper with the person and reason with them.  Pray for an opening to present the Gospel.

So now what I've been learning outside of class.  I started reading through the book of Genesis in hopes to read through the Bible in year (that may not happen haha).  However, the book has been incredible.  I used to see the Old Testament as boring and old, but as I've matured in my walk with God, I love His Word.  As I've been reading, I've been learning about the faithfulness of God.  Genesis is just a huge story of God's faithfulness.  Once he makes the promise of the Redeemer in Genesis 3:15, he is faithful to keep that promise, whether man decides to obey or not.  In Genesis 6 when God wipes out humanity in the flood, he keeps the only righteous man left, Noah along with his family.  In Genesis 12, God makes a promise to Abraham that he would bless Abraham and he would make Abraham into a great nation, that through Abraham and his descendants all families on the earth would be blessed through him.  Abraham goes until he is ages 99 and still has no children and is wondering about becoming this great nation.  In Genesis 17 God promises this child in Abraham and Sarah's old age.  God was faithful to keep the line of the Redeemer in tack, and Isaac was born a year later.  The promise to Abraham was repeated to Isaac and his son Jacob and in Exodus 1, their indeed was a great nation, Israel.  Jacob had had twelve sons, which became the 12 tribes of Israel.  Going back to Genesis though, in chapter 22, God tells Abraham to go sacrifice his promised son Isaac.  Now God has just given Abraham the very child he promised and now he tells Abraham to go sacrifice him?  Abraham goes to do what God tells him, without questioning.  He lays Isaac on the altar and is about to sacrifice him and God tell Abraham to stop because of Abraham's faith.  God says to Abraham "Do not lay your hand on the boy or do anything to him, for now I know that you fear God, seeing that you have not withheld your son, your only son, from me"  (Genesis 22:12).  God then provides a ram to sacrifice instead and the mountain was named "The Lord will provide."  God is a faithful God.  I'm not sure if Abraham knew what God was going to do, however I believe he rested in the Lord's faithfulness and knew God was going to do something, because he had promised Isaac and that the line of the Redeemer was going through him.  And so he did whatever God told him to, no matter how crazy it sounded.  I have been learning to rest in God's faithfulness.  He will provide, but I must be a man who fears the Lord, believes him and takes him at his word, and a man who does whatever he tells me to do, even if it sounds crazy.

As some of you know finances for Bible school were a question mark, but I trusted the Lord and believed he was leading me to attend Bible school and so went, even with a lack of finances.  God has been providing and has been answering prayers.  I started doing a job this weekend helping a man do roofing work and that job is going for the next 2-3 weeks and the pay is north of $10 an hour.  Also I had a phone interview with the hospital next door to New Tribes and that woman told me that we will most likely be moving on to the next step, an on site interview.  The Lord is working, I just need to continue to be faithful and obedient to him in prayer, in the Word, and in life.

Praise:
1.  The phone interview and the roofing job.  Answers to prayers and definitely the Lord's working.  Praise God!
2.  Community.  I was discouraged my first few days here, feeling like a new kid, but the community here is amazing, we're like one big family and I love it.  Also the teachers and deans are always wanting to talk and hang out, so that's been an encourager.  The freshman are having a book study on Thursday nights as well and that's been fantastic.

Prayer Requests:
1.  Faithfulness to God and His Word.
2.  Leadership.  That I would point others to Christ is all that I do.  I know I am a leader and want to continue to grow in that.
3.  Learner's attitude/classes.  I want to approach every class with a learner's attitude because I for sure do not know everything and want to soak in all the wisdom I can.  Pray that the classes and the information taught would penetrate my heart and that I may bear fruit because of it.
4.  Pray that I may not get so deep into theology that I miss the point of Bible school.  I want to fall in love more and more with Jesus daily.  Basically pray that my heart and head would not be disconnected but that the knowledge would penetrate both.

Thank you for all your prayers!!

Call Me Crazy

I can't tell you how many people, Christian, "Christians," and/or non-believers have said that to be.  "You're crazy."  Or "wow that's crazy what you're doing, I don't know if I could do that."  Or they just give me weird looks as they nod their head and smile, saying "Good for you."  Maybe I am crazy, actually I probably am a tad crazy, but isn't that what God is looking for?  People that are crazy.  People that are willing to surrender all for the will of God?  Didn't Jesus teach that and look for those kinds of followers?  Now I am not saying of this to puff myself up, I am an idiot a lot of the time.  I am a sinner saved by the grace of God and the blood of Jesus Christ.  But what I am saying is, Is taking Jesus at his Word, falling in love with him, and trusting him enough to say 'Heck yeah I'll follow you wherever you leads me even if that means losing everything,' is that really crazy?  Maybe by the world's standard, but doesn't seem logical based on all God has done for us?  Graciously lavishing on us his love and grace(1 John 3, Ephesians 1).  Sending his Son to absorb his wrath on the cross for my sin, your sin, Peter's sin, James' and John's sin.  Everyone's sin.  It seems like it makes sense.  I was recently reading a book, Radical, by David Platt and in Chapter 6:  How Much Is Enough?-American Wealth and a World Full of Poverty and there is a story of this man who has a lot of stuff and him and his wife decide to sell their house and give possessions away.  He's talking to the author about this and he says to David,

"I wonder at some points if I'm being irresponsible or unwise.  But then I realize there is never going to come a day when I stand before God and he looks at me and says, 'I wish you would have kept more for yourself.'  I'm confident the Lord will take care of me."

As I sat reading this chapter, I felt so convicted to give money to the church, ministries, etc but even more then that I realized something like this man.  That I'm never going to stand before God and hear 'I wish you would have lived more of your life for yourself.  I wish you would have saved more time for yourself.  I wish you would have kept more for yourself.'  I was blown away.  That my life was given to live for Him and for others in His Name.  My time here on earth isn't for myself.  It was given to give for His Glory amongst all people.  My possessions, gifts, talents weren't given for me, they were given for His Glory and to bless others into a relationship with him.

And so I say to myself, am I crazy?  Am I radical?  Or this the normal type of response to God's love, grace, mercy, cross, Jesus' call to follow, and his son.  Is this the normal response to the Son of God?  Think about that.  Is it crazy to follow the SON OF GOD, if you believe he is who he says he is?  Or is it freaking awesome, a PRIVILEGE, after all he has done for us.  I say, absolutely I will follow Jesus wherever he takes me, because HE IS LORD. And he is Lord of my life.  He "bought my life with a price," and he owns it and I surrender.

My questions to you, if you are unwilling to surrender to God, to follow Jesus the way he commands us to, or to live for God's glory are these:  Do you know who God is?  Do you know what you're saved from? And are you in love with Jesus?  Because that's Christianity.  Being absolutely in love with a God who delights in you, a God who left heaven to ransom your soul, so as to surrender everything to him in order that his glory may be made known to everyone on this earth.  Again none of this is to pat myself on the back.  I am a sinner.  A wretched one, falling short of God's glory daily.  But God has done a miracle both in my heart and in my life and my challenge to you is:  Are you willing to respond as Isaiah did in Isaiah 6:8, "Here am I.  Send me."  I don't know where you would have me Lord, but I am willing.  Your will be done. 

Do Not Worry

Whether you know or not, I have recently come back from Tijuana.  My time at Mexico Caravan Ministries has come to an end and I am back in the states getting ready for school at New Tribes Bible Institute.  This blog comes from devotional on Monday.  I woke up and opened my Bible to Luke 12 (I'm currently reading through the Gospels) and the title is Warnings and Encouragement.  Jesus goes on to warn against worrying about the future, about storing up treasures on earth, and about not living like the Lord is coming back again.  The Lord spoke to me specifically by warning me of these very things as I come back to America and the culture and even Christian culture that goes against what Christ stood for.

And so as I'm reading this, I think about school.  I don't have a lot of money for school, basically enough to get me there and pay for a few months and I'm reading Jesus' words in verses 22-26, "Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat; or your body, what you will wear.  Life is more than food and the body more than clothes.  Consider the ravens:  They do not sow or reap, they have no storeroom or barn; yet God feeds them.  And how much more valuable you are than birds.  Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?  Since you cannot do this very little thing, why do you worry about the rest?"  I hear God saying this very question to me, "Josh why do you worry about the rest?"  The Lord reminded me that I can't add a single hour to my life, I can't support myself thru school, I can't do anything without him.  He also reminded me that I am more valuable than anything in this world, and he will provide for me.  But I must trust.  A brother the other day told me quote, "Being anxious says that we know what's best for us, we don't."  I don't know what's best for me, therefore what right do I have to be anxious?  "Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you" 1 Peter 5:7.  These words from Jesus were an incredible reminder to trust in the Lord.  To keep my eyes fixed on the author and perfecter of my faith, because he's got me, and he will provide.  A friend once told me that if you trust the Lord with your life, he'll never let you down.

The second thing that spoke to me was to not store up for myself treasures on earth.  I just saw a t.v. commercial today that was for life insurance to protect your dreams and ambitions because you need to pursue them.  And I'm sitting there thinking, what would Jesus be thinking right now.   I feel like this is the type of stuff that he cleared the temples from, this way of thinking that stores up treasures on earth.  Jesus in Luke 12 talks about this rich man who had a harvest.  He didn't have barns big enough for all the harvest so he says to himself, "I will tear down my barns and build bigger ones, and there I will store my grain and my goods.  And I'll say to myself, 'You have plenty of good things laid up for many years.  Take life easy; eat, drink, and be merry.'"  This is the crap American society feeds us, that this attitude is okay, to store up a bunch of stuff for ourselves and take it easy into retirement.  God's response?  "You fool!  This very night your life will be demanded from you.  Then who will get what you have prepared for yourself?"  People who store up things on earth are called fools by God.  This was a reminder to me to guard my heart and mind from the world, because what the world's philosophy pumps into our heads is poison.

Prayer Requests:
1.  Finances for school and also a job while I'm there to pay for my monthly payments.
2.  Faithfulness to the Lord in my time, being wholly devoted to him
3.  Meeting on August 11th with my missions pastor, that it would be a fruitful meeting

Dominion of Darkness and the Kingdom of God

"For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us in to the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins."  Colossians 1:13-14

Last night I went down to the red light district, called Zona Norte, "the North Zone," with my fellow staff Michael, our buddy Julian who works for Spectrum ministry, and 3 Mexicans, including the lady who led us down, called Francelia, who was an ex-prostitute, now a believer, in Zona Norte.  Michael had been approached by our boss' old youth pastor, Pastor Von, who is 83, but still works down here in Mexico 4 days a week for Spectrum, about having someone lead us down into Zona Norte.  He told us we ought to see what "true" darkness looks like.  Michael and I talked a bunch and prayed often about it.  We understood that sin is darkness, but we had been told that this place is just different, that you walk in and you can feel spiritual heaviness.  We thought it would be beneficial for us, especially because we both want to go into ministry overseas and we're going to have to deal with prostitution, drugs, violence.  And so we went last night.  It was sad, but it was powerful.  We came from this place called Playas and took this highway all along the ocean, right next to the red light.  Then we stopped and got out, and lugged this huge pot of rice up a block.  There we made a right into this dark alley.  And it was dark.  You knew going in that this was it.  We then made another right through this doorway into this group of "houses".  I say "houses" because they were no where near a house by American standards, but where people lived nonetheless.  A picture that will stay in my mind forever:  I was standing over this pot of rice, handing out cups and I feel a man tap me on the shoulder.  I turn around and there's this man and his buddy in this hole probably about the size of a dumb waiter, about 3x3 hole, and they have all their stuff jammed in there in the back, probably about 6 feet deep, and then they just sleep in there.  And something else about all these people that came up for rice where all high.  This one guy came up, with all matted down dredlocks, a big trenchcoat, and he was walking like a handicapped man, convulsing, because he was so high.  And that's just the life these people live.  They are poor, destitute, and so turn to drugs, and it just turns into this cycle of constant striving.  And they're striving after nothing.  Emptiness.  From there we drove down into the heart of it all.  As soon as we got out and parked, right by the bathrooms there was a guy shining his girlfriend's shoes, making her look nice to sell.  We proceeded down the street and made a bunch of rights and lefts and found ourselves facing this street, about 300 yards long.  Now on our way there, there were prostitutes around.  But we went down this street and every 5 feet, no exaggeration, there was a prostitute waiting for business.  Girls that could be as young as 13.  There was this line of guys on our side of the street, and I turned to Julian and ask, "Porque están allá?," why are they there?  He says to me that there waiting for all the girls to come out from across the street and there's going to be an auction.  We passed by places for child prostitution, and all around this block are cops, and I asked Julian about this too and he tells me that the pimps pay off the cops so that they can keep business going.  I'm hoping to go again before I leave, and I hope to go to the river.  There's a canal that runs down the middle of the highway and there are druggies that live down in the sewers.

From this night, God opened my eyes to hurting people.  But even more so that, yes these people need food, clothing, jobs, but immensely more they need the gospel.  These girls that are selling themselves have no idea that Jesus came to die to set them free from the enslavement of sin.  And these people are slaves to sin and Satan has a hold on their lives.  They have no idea that Jesus has rescued them from the dominion of darkness.  That he has brought redemption.  Down there in Zona Norte there is a dominion of darkness.  But people like this need to know that Jesus died to bring them into the Kingdom of God.  And there are people all over the world that need to know about the love of God.  The cross that paid for their trespasses.  Are you willing to take the Gospel, which contains the promise of eternal life, forgiveness, grace, and an abundant life for all of us as believers, to people like these?

Loving Much

Hey guys! Things are going great down here at Caravan.  Our summer has started down here, with week long groups ever week.  We built houses every day this week with a group from Washington called Snohomish.  Monday we poured a 12x16 floor which was a lot of fun.  I've been pouring cement down here for the past year and I love working with cement.  Last weekend we went to the beach in Rosarito for the day.  We blew out a tire on the way there which was interesting.  The tire iron we had was crap and so we had to flag down some Mexicans to help us out, their tire iron wasn't really any better, so I had to call our tire guy to drive out to us the 45 minutes to change our tire, but we made it to the beach alright.  It was a great day of bonding with one another.  During orientation 2 weeks ago we built one of our 12x12 houses next door and for 2 weeks at a time staff stay in there to experience what a Mexican experiences.  So the past 2 weeks Clayton, Caleb, Spencer, and I have been staying in there and tonight's our last night, it's been a good two weeks.  Today, I went and worked with Spectrum at their bath house.  Spectrum is a ministry here in Tijuana run by Pastor Von and my boss Eddie's son Aaron.  They work in neighborhoods with kids and every Thursday and every other Saturday and set up tents to bathe boys and delice girls.  They give out food, new clothes, wash feet, play, and love on the kids.  It's been a blast working with them and their staff and being poured into by them.  This next week we have 2 groups in, one from Minnesota and one from Canada and we're building 4 houses a day.

So onto what I'm learning.  As a guys staff, the 7 of us have been doing a bible study through Luke.  In the spring I started a bible study with Michael and Clayton through Colossians and bible study has been really fruitful.  We went through Luke 7 and the story that impacted me was the story of the sinful woman. 

 "One of the Pharisees asked him to eat with him, and he went into the Pharisee's house and reclined at the table.   And behold, a woman of the city, who was a sinner, when she learned that he was reclining at table in the Pharisee's house, brought an alabaster flask of ointment, and standing behind him at his feet, weeping, she began to wet his feet with her tears and wiped them with the hair of her head and kissed his feet and anointed them with the ointment. Now when the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man were a prophet, he would have known who and what sort of woman this is who is touching him, for she is a sinner.” And Jesus answering said to him, “Simon, I have something to say to you.” And he answered, “Say it, Teacher.”
 “A certain moneylender had two debtors. One owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty.   When they could not pay, he cancelled the debt of both. Now which of them will love him more?”  Simon answered, “The one, I suppose, for whom he cancelled the larger debt.” And he said to him, “You have judged rightly.”  Then turning toward the woman he said to Simon, “Do you see this woman? I entered your house; you gave me no water for my feet, but she has wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair.   You gave me no kiss, but from the time I came in she has not ceased to kiss my feet.  You did not anoint my head with oil, but she has anointed my feet with ointment.Therefore I tell you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven—for she loved much. But he who is forgiven little, loves little.” And he said to her, “Your sins are forgiven.”  Then those who were at table with him began to say among themselves, “Who is this, who even forgives sins?”  And he said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you; go in peace.”

What really hit me was the fact that this woman was weeping over her sin, because she was so distraught over it and realized the depravity of it and how much she needed Jesus.  But what hit me the most is what Jesus said about this woman.  That she loved much.  She loved because she was forgiven not the other way around.  And so I asked myself, Do I love much?  Do I love God much?  Do I love others much? Am I overwhelmed by forgiveness?  These questions are ones I'm still wrestling through but this woman loved much.  What does that even mean to love much, or what does it even look like?  One way I know I can work on this is by praying different.  Because I think that the way we prayer shows a lot about our love and appreciation for God.  I want to be pouring myself into prayer and loving my God much by talking to him and doing what he tells me to do.  To me overwhelmed by his forgiveness and grace and to tell others about The Forgiver and The Gracious and only God.  Do you love much?

Follow Jesus

    So before I get into what I'm learning and stuff, I'll just give you a brief overview of what's been going on down here lately.  So we finally have all our staff in for the summer, there's 12 of us in all, 7 guys and 5 girls.  This past week we had staff orientation.  We did team building exercises, life stories, spiritual gift inventories and personality tests.  It was a great week to learn more about one another and to learn about each other's past and how God has redeemed them.  We ended this morning by eating a traditional mexican meal called menudo, which is hominey and beef stomach lining in a red sauce.  I've had it before and it's definitely edible, though not something I'd choose to eat.  Anyway now we're gearing up for the summer, where we have week long groups every week.  We have a group from Wisconsin and a group from Southern California in for all next week.  It's going to be a busy summer!  Also, this past week we built one our houses(12x12) in the lot next door where different staff will be staying in there for 2 weeks at a time this summer.  I move in tomorrow morning with Clayton, Caleb, and Spencer, hopefully we don't burn the place down.  Anyway, so that's kinda the deal for this next week, but it's mexico flexico so there'll probably be an adventure thrown in there somewhere.
    As a staff we have been going through a video series called Basic by Francis Chan.  It serves to take Christ-followers, old and new, and teach them the basics of a walk with God.  This particular video that we watched most recently was called Follow Jesus.  I feel like God has used Chan to continually lift my eyes to him and to show me areas in my life that I need to work on, areas where I thought I understood from being raised in the Church.  His main question was, "What does it mean to follow Jesus?"  If we think it's anything other then dropping everything an following him, we've deceived ourselves.  In Luke 5, Jesus is calling his first disciples.  He tells these fishermen to cast their nets in a different spot and they catch this amazing amount of fish.  Then  Jesus replies in verse 10b "Then Jesus said to Simon, 'Don't be afraid; from now on you will catch men.'"  Jesus tells them, you're not going to catch merely fish now, you're going to catch men, you're going to make disciples and turn men to the Light.  He's telling them, you can be so much more then mere fishermen, you can be fishers of men, but you need to leave everything and follow me.  You know what they did?  "So they pulled their boats up on shore, left EVERYTHING and follow him."  They left everything.  They counted it all, as Paul says, "lost for the sake for Christ Jesus my Lord."  That's what it means to follow Jesus, to leave everything behind and go.  John 8:31 says "If you hold to my teaching, you are truly my disciples."  See the first thing Jesus said to his followers was to follow him and he would make them fishers of men.  The last thing he said was to "go and make disciples of all men."  In between he instructs on how to disciple others.  His parables, his teachings, are how he discipled the twelve.  If we hold to Jesus' teachings, we are his disciples, his followers.  Again the narrow and wide roads came up again in this video.  I've been thinking a lot about them lately.  When you're at the narrow and wide roads, when you have a decision to make, either right or wrong, Jesus is standing there next to you whispering "I know it looks hard, that decision, that habit to stop, that think to say no to, but I'm so worth it."  Do you deem Christ, who died on the cross for your sins, worthy enough to drop everything and follow?

Matthew 7:13-14
           "Enter through the narrow gate.  For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it.  But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it."

Well guys, this blog has taken me forever to start, but here it goes.  I name it "On The Narrow Way" because my hope is that this blog reflects what I'm learning as I walk with God on the narrow path and informs you of what I'm learning and how you can be praying for me.  For those of you who don't know me or what I'm doing, I'm currently working at a missions mobilization ministry/house building ministry in Tijuana, Mexico.  I've been down here since last June and am leaving at the end of July.  Shortly after that I will be heading to New Tribes Bible Institute in Jackson, Michigan.  My hope for this blog is that you will be able to follow me as I walk along the narrow way and continue on my road to the missions field.  My heart is to bring the gospel to Northeast Africa, an area where there is an absence of the living water, the bread of the life, the Gospel.  I desire to see God glorified in my body as I see his name proclaimed among the nations.  I have a heart for Muslims specifically, because they are just so lost and have bought into a system that enslaves them to this idea of a God who is cruel, brash, and unable to be satisfied.  They live in this cycle of sin, where they strive after God's affection, where they strive to purify themselves.  They do not know that they have been brought near to God through the blood of Christ.  And so they strive.  This is what I want for my life.  To serve the Lord by taking the Gospel to a hungry people that have no knowledge of the redemption they have by grace.  And so this blog for you to be able to follow me, assist me, encourage me.  Whether that means by prayer, financial support, or by offering encouraging words, I hope this blog gives you insight into my life and how the Lord is moving in it.  Thank you for your support. 
                          "Grace and peace to you from God our Father and Lord Jesus Christ Amen.

Prayer Requests:
1.  Leadership this summer.  That I would lead the staff here with humility, gentleness, patience, basically all the fruits of the Spirit.
2.  Intimacy with the Lord.  That my time with the Lord would be absolutely precious.
3.  The next step.  Finances for New Tribes and just direction and guidance as I head there in 2 months.  That I would follow the Lord's leading and trust in him.